Sometimes its like all powers go together to make my life miserable...my biological mother died two weeks ago. I went to Germany for her funeral and brought back her ashes to Sweden. She wanted to be spread over the Alpes but the laws in Germany or Austria dont allow that. Second option was to get back to Sweden where grandma is buried.
When passing the security gates at the airport I expected trouble but when they found out it was ashes they just let us pass. The toll guards didnt know what to do so they also just let us pass. Took a glance at the paper, put a stamp in it and nothing more.
Finally at home a lot of phonecalls to find out what to do with the ashes. The laws dont allow keeping it at home so went pretty anxious before I knew I had to go to the cremation place (the place they burn dead people at) and leave her there.
I have always seen people that keep their relatives ashes at home are a bit disturbed. At this moment I totally understand them. I had her next to me for some days and I felt close to her. It was really hard to give the ashes away.
After all our time in Germany were pleasant. Finally I met my younger brother who I havent seen for 20 years. All family (almost) got together which despite the occasion were nice. To bad something bad must happen to be able to meet.
On Monday I start therapy again and the thing with my mother ends a chapter in my life. I will never get any answers from her now.
And to make things a little more fun, I think I lost one of my best friends. In fact its strange to call that person a friend since we havent met for many years and dont really know eachother. But I felt an instant connection and thought we would be there for eachother. It hurts when that dont happen because we have bad times in our lives at the same time. Both are egocentric at the moment and that make we talk pass eachother instead of supporting the other one.
Anyway, I feel really sad over that but I take the blame for my part in it. Its never ones fault when two persons argue. Nevertheless its sad and I dont want it to be that way, but I must continue my journey with therapy and hopefully be a whole person in the end.
Gah, my english sucks and I feel in a terrible mood right now so pretty much whyning (whining?) at the moment. Good news is though that my youngest son got a job! He likes it and have been working two months now. And he held me company on the trip now.
When passing the security gates at the airport I expected trouble but when they found out it was ashes they just let us pass. The toll guards didnt know what to do so they also just let us pass. Took a glance at the paper, put a stamp in it and nothing more.
Finally at home a lot of phonecalls to find out what to do with the ashes. The laws dont allow keeping it at home so went pretty anxious before I knew I had to go to the cremation place (the place they burn dead people at) and leave her there.
I have always seen people that keep their relatives ashes at home are a bit disturbed. At this moment I totally understand them. I had her next to me for some days and I felt close to her. It was really hard to give the ashes away.
After all our time in Germany were pleasant. Finally I met my younger brother who I havent seen for 20 years. All family (almost) got together which despite the occasion were nice. To bad something bad must happen to be able to meet.
On Monday I start therapy again and the thing with my mother ends a chapter in my life. I will never get any answers from her now.
And to make things a little more fun, I think I lost one of my best friends. In fact its strange to call that person a friend since we havent met for many years and dont really know eachother. But I felt an instant connection and thought we would be there for eachother. It hurts when that dont happen because we have bad times in our lives at the same time. Both are egocentric at the moment and that make we talk pass eachother instead of supporting the other one.
Anyway, I feel really sad over that but I take the blame for my part in it. Its never ones fault when two persons argue. Nevertheless its sad and I dont want it to be that way, but I must continue my journey with therapy and hopefully be a whole person in the end.
Gah, my english sucks and I feel in a terrible mood right now so pretty much whyning (whining?) at the moment. Good news is though that my youngest son got a job! He likes it and have been working two months now. And he held me company on the trip now.
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