so which law is valid?

Im swedish citizen but live in Holland so do the dutch laws overrules swedish rules? According to swedish rules, my money is untouchable, but according to dutch rules my money is his (or their) money???

For real, its not the money itself that bothers me, ofc we can use them for other stuff, but isnt it just a sick rule that I should have to pay for my love? Its like its a crime to fall in love with a person that is poor. Then you should get punished for it. And he should get punished for it since they take away his income. Now he has to beg me for money. Is that really human?

time to blog again...

and as always is it when Im upset :(

As I said before I planned to move to Holland and now Im here :) Thought all would be good and nice and with me and my love things couldnt be better, we really are made for eachother.

BUT, he has a diagnosis so he lives on social security. Normally they demand you apply for jobs and so on when having it or you are in title of some other help from the authoritys. He got an exception from that rule since they found him not able to work, BUT they didnt offer him the other help.

And now that I moved here they cut off his money with no notice, no call, no letter, NOTHING! He calls them and they said they planned to send a letter, cmon, planned it but didnt do it??? But it would all settle if we go there and speak with them cause ofc he is in title to it. Hahaha, we go there and what happens? Yea, they demand us to live on my savings!

Before I moved here I looked up things and I have to provide for my self for 3 months. Np, I got money from Sweden for my crappy childhood that arent allowed to impact your social income. Now I planned to use them for my staying here until I know the language and can get a descent job. And all of a sudden I have to use them to support my boyfriend.

Gahh, dinner is ready, will have to finish later!

My "best" friend ;)

not time yet but soon he is here again, my old/new best friend, atleast he seems to like me more than I like him ;) Autumn and winter is always bad sleeping for some reason. For real it should be spring and summer when its light outside :D But yea, hormones dont listen to logic...

time again...

probably will not be that active here much anyway but today I felt for writing and since I decided to stop writing on my swedish blog I go to this. Actually "decided" to make this my moving blog. At the moment my moving date is set to march 31 2014.

Had no idea that it takes so much papers to move from one EU country to another. Have one done ;) Me and papers or rather phonecalls are a bad combo, I just hate to call all instances, get in line, wait 40 mins to even talk to someone. Those with the voices are worst, tell your issue, personal evidence, do you mean this or that, repeat...after some repeatings that the computer dont understand you finally get to speak with a real person. Surprise!

But today main reason for blogging is I miss my love badly today, havent been in Holland for 3 weeks, wow, shouldnt miss him that bad already, ususally we see eachother once a month. Guess now that its decided I will go there its getting harder maybe. Or that we couldnt get a date for next meeting last time since we both are poor bastards.

Long break

has it been...but will probably not be a frequent writer anyway...today I actually feel pleased with me and my self. Sun is shining so at my walk I could take off my jacket and not freeze :)))

Have been to my therapist also today and for the first time I felt he maybe isnt a weirdo after all. Maybe cause he said stuff I liked to hear this time ;) Before Ive seen him as a besserwisser who tries to tell me what to do. He did sort of today also but this time I saw it more constructively. He gave me stuff to think about.

I have also been in watching for jobs. Not many to apply for but Im consider some of them after all. England is anyway more pleasant than Sweden even that it isnt my dreamcountry to move at. But if I want a job that suits my education its UK or Ireland I must choose. Right now Im a little bit unsecure and thinking back and forward. Maybe its better to wait til I get back from my voulonteering trip, at the same time Im unpatient and want to make something as soon as possible. Guess I will have to wait and see if this good mood stays a bit longer :)

Life sucks sometimes

Sometimes its like all powers go together to make my life miserable...my biological mother died two weeks ago. I went to Germany for her funeral and brought back her ashes to Sweden. She wanted to be spread over the Alpes but the laws in Germany or Austria dont allow that. Second option was to get back to Sweden where grandma is buried.

When passing the security gates at the airport I expected trouble but when they found out it was ashes they just let us pass. The toll guards didnt know what to do so they also just let us pass. Took a glance at the paper, put a stamp in it and nothing more.

Finally at home a lot of phonecalls to find out what to do with the ashes. The laws dont allow keeping it at home so went pretty anxious before I knew I had to go to the cremation place (the place they burn dead people at) and leave her there.

I have always seen people that keep their relatives ashes at home are a bit disturbed. At this moment I totally understand them. I had her next to me for some days and I felt close to her. It was really hard to give the ashes away.

After all our time in Germany were pleasant. Finally I met my younger brother who I havent seen for 20 years. All family (almost) got together which despite the occasion were nice. To bad something bad must happen to be able to meet.

On Monday I start therapy again and the thing with my mother ends a chapter in my life. I will never get any answers from her now.

And to make things a little more fun, I think I lost one of my best friends. In fact its strange to call that person a friend since we havent met for many years and dont really know eachother. But I felt an instant connection and thought we would be there for eachother. It hurts when that dont happen because we have bad times in our lives at the same time. Both are egocentric at the moment and that make we talk pass eachother instead of supporting the other one.

Anyway, I feel really sad over that but I take the blame for my part in it. Its never ones fault when two persons argue. Nevertheless its sad and I dont want it to be that way, but I must continue my journey with therapy and hopefully be a whole person in the end.

Gah, my english sucks and I feel in a terrible mood right now so pretty much whyning (whining?) at the moment. Good news is though that my youngest son got a job! He likes it and have been working two months now. And he held me company on the trip now.

Crap

I´m back from Germany with my mothers ashes...and I feel actually terrible...when I was there I felt close to her and enjoyed being close to my relatives...now when I´m back home I just feel sad...