Looser...

Dammit! I´m so disappointed right now...thought there was going to be a nice new years eve with dinner and drinks...pfff...after dinner we went home again...so happy new year!

Hmm...dont know how to do this but here I am...

Christmas

Hmm...christmas is supposed to be a happy holiday. I dont agree. I actually dont like it. The only thing I enjoy about it is when I get some extra days off from work. Boring? Yea, maybe! I just dont like the stress around it. People are baking, cooking and shopping until they almost fall apart from stress. I refuse to do that. I only give money to my kids in present and buy some food that already are made. No stress for me that way.


Why do I have to like christmas? People tells me I´m weird and yea, maybe that is true. But if I go in the trap as everyone else, does that make me happier? NO! I don´t tell others what to do at christmas, why are they more right than me? They have the right to tell me I´m weird but I can´t tell them I think its they who are weird. Where is the justice in that?

work problems

One of my work mates has been suspended from work. He feels terrible but pretends all is good. I keep thinking of if there is something possible to do for him. Its hard cause in fear of cut someones hair its so easy to do less than you should.

Just so sad...

I just found out that friends I thought were my friends showed up not to be...and some of them showed they are just friends...and that I love them for...situation is that my son is cutting him self when he feels bad and I cant do a damn thing about it...the so called wealthfare dont give a shit, they cant do anything if he dont want them to. The laws are so srcrewed up.

Anyway in the same time Im so proud of him, he can put words to his feelings and in my mind they actually are so right...but it is he who are weird...crazy...maybe I´m weird too then cause I think he is right. Dammit, Im just so sad right now...

Tired

Today is a bad day, first I overslept in the morning so got late for work. At work there is a mess, to much to do with not enough personnel. But just have to bite in the apple and do the best. Yesterday I heard I am a positive person, such a compliment but I feel like a wynie. Maybe I´m a good actress...:) Anyway, I will try to get to bed early today, hmm early its already 23.30 but guess everything is an improvement from getting to bed at 2 am mostly nights, no wonder I oversleep...

Time to sleep

and as always I dont want to, sleep is boring but when I do sleep I dont want to wake up. I´m always so tired when the alarm goes off, no connection with my habits of going to bed to late ;) This time of the year is really crappy, dark all day around and the fucking snow :( I wish I could do like the bears and sleep all winter. Instead Im playing silly computergames. They make me dont think of reality and that is pretty good :) They clear my brain. Dammit, my english really sucks but guess you can read what I mean :)

For the last year I´ve been playing Sacred Seasons and it caught me for better and for worse...*smiles and sighs*...besides that I play small games at Facebook like Farmville and stuff...lol...simple and easy is my cup of tea :D

Jaja, I really must go to bed now, work tomorrow and late night here, cya all!

Winter

Snow, snow and snow, I hate snow! It feels like it has been no summer at all. This weather makes me depressed, I hate walking in snow, I hate getting the snow in my face, I hate skiing...dammit, I´m born in the wrong part of the world!

Beginning

A new start again...I already have a blog but none in english. Since I have friends that cant read my stuff I thought it might be a good idea to have one in a readable version for other friends :)

Its always hard to know where to start, should it be a presentation? Or just write down whatever pops up? Anyway I will write now and then about stuff that passes my mind.